By G.C.S
I wrote this poem because so many women are being failed by the health system to receive a diagnosis, both in general and for autism specifically. I have heard many stories from women about their experiences of getting an autism diagnosis, and it seems to be a never ending cycle of doctors and professionals who can’t look past their biases.
I wrote this poem for the doctor who ignored my suicide attempt; for the psychologist who told me I was too intelligent for therapy; for the GP who told me my pain was in my head and now for the doctors who disregard my health because I have an autism diagnosis, and everything is easier to pin on autism than listen. Most importantly, I wrote this for the women who relate to this, autistic or not.
Look Beyond the Bias
I am angry, and allowed to be.
Not hysterical, delusional or something derogatory.
Why is my sexual or mental health the first assumption?
Why do I have to defend my pain, my life?
Reproductive organs are not my only function.
I am angry and allowed to be.
I'm not stressed or anxious or pregnant... seriously.
Irrational, irritable ..."go and do yoga to destress that body".
I am angry and allowed to be.
I have a right to be listened to,
Feelings to be shared,
So don't make me defend myself when your job is to care.
Innocent until proven guilty?
But you're the judge and jury,
I have no lawyer defending my case,
just my words, my actions, which are thrown back in my face.
I am angry and allowed to be.
On a back foot, never believed.
Irrational, irritable is no way to be perceived.
But I am a women,
my life is my own.
Yet here you are saying “just rest and go home”.
I have a right to be listened to,
Feelings to be shared,
So don't make me defend myself when your job is to care.
So now you have me down as autistic,
Yet here I am, just another statistic,
So, I am angry and allowed to be
because I am me, yet you still can't see.
